Aww Criminy, Mr. Heart-fulla-stars is thinking again!

I know I'm very much capable of making mistakes, and boy-oh I am too good at it. There are things about me better kept to myself that might have been let out during the last week. I won't go into _exactly_ what it might be, or where if one doesn't already know, but it is part of my organic preference folder for a long time, and who knows how it managed to get there! Maybe someday I'll find out, and why, but right now I going over my past mistakes (I know: I really shouldn't, the past is gone and must be learned from. Since I'm spiritually a ruminate, I can't help it.) I find that nervous fear was/is the main reason for the way things are right now. There was only one real time I managed the courage to do something about it, but found instead that she_who_will_remain_unnamed was a cold and aloof person that didn't want to be bothered, that is, until a bit after she got hit by the clue-by-4. But at that time, I was too heart-broken and gave up on her, deciding to be just another drone in her uncle's factory (Mr. Gasket, btw.) She never apologized for her cruelty. Not to this day! Strangely enough, she didn't fit any of my personal bullet points of what I look for physically in a gal, but for one: she existed as a person!

Who knows what might have been if I did one thing differently with whomever I had even a speck of fondness for beside her (there were a few, but fear took care of those possible pasts,) there might be the possibility I might not have glommed to any fandom... maybe one if a hypothetical son was a TF fan himself!

I'd better post this, get ready for work, and mail-off #3 niece's birthday cards: she's 14 yahren today!

Aww Criminy, Mr. Heart-fulla-stars is thinking again!

I know I'm very much capable of making mistakes, and boy-oh I am too good at it. There are things about me better kept to myself that might have been let out during the last week. I won't go into _exactly_ what it might be, or where if one doesn't already know, but it is part of my organic preference folder for a long time, and who knows how it managed to get there! Maybe someday I'll find out, and why, but right now I going over my past mistakes (I know: I really shouldn't, the past is gone and must be learned from. Since I'm spiritually a ruminate, I can't help it.) I find that nervous fear was/is the main reason for the way things are right now. There was only one real time I managed the courage to do something about it, but found instead that she_who_will_remain_unnamed was a cold and aloof person that didn't want to be bothered, that is, until a bit after she got hit by the clue-by-4. But at that time, I was too heart-broken and gave up on her, deciding to be just another drone in her uncle's factory (Mr. Gasket, btw.) She never apologized for her cruelty. Not to this day! Strangely enough, she didn't fit any of my personal bullet points of what I look for physically in a gal, but for one: she existed as a person!

Who knows what might have been if I did one thing differently with whomever I had even a speck of fondness for beside her (there were a few, but fear took care of those possible pasts,) there might be the possibility I might not have glommed to any fandom... maybe one if a hypothetical son was a TF fan himself!

I'd better post this, get ready for work, and mail-off #3 niece's birthday cards: she's 14 yahren today!