What's that noise?

Today I was supposed to have an appeal hearing about my problem with Medicaid as to why certain medical bills are not being taken care of.

Beef #1: This the reason I still call MapQuest "the internet's compass-with a broken needle": The directions called for me to take a right on E.13th from Superior to get to the Cleveland office on Payne [Bzzzt!] The office is at the intersection of E.17th and Payne!

Beef#2: My appointment was for 8am, but the offices aren't open before 8, they open at8! Couple that with being there for the first time and not knowing where the room was, I ended up being late anyway and I have to reschedule the hearing for a more convenient day/time.

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( TMI inside cut )

All day yesterday and up until 1pm today have been as close to painfully unbearable as I 've had since my medical situation happened in the first place, with having to run to the can to empty the bag way too often for where I was at (at work,) possibly losing business whie I was taking care of things.
( Icckiness inside )

Thanks to the demented sibling that is my youngest sister, a body function can now at least be imitated. You see, a stoma might be the "straight pipe" of having to go in my current condition, but doing so on my terms is something I miss; like doing my business before a shower.

Anyhow, being childishly scatological was one of the things that, for now, went bye-bye in the surgery. Not anymore! Now I have in my grubby hooves the means of amusing myself silly that not only looks like a huge snot ball, but is a very convincing way of artificial trepidation.
http://www.cyberclean.net/

The phart bit comes when trying to put the snot ball back into the storage cup. Take a couple of fingers to shove the goo into the cup... phhhhht!