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Your Social Services $$$ at work (?)
Jun. 28th, 2010 05:26 pmReceived notice from the state Obladee-Obladuh (Ohio Dept of Jobs and Family Services) today, they are cutting back on routine dental to one cleaning and exam to every calender year. Great, I'm overdue for an exam.
That's not the weird part.
The crazy part is that they will cover the following under medical supplies:
Diabetic supplies, inhaler spacers, peak flow meters, syringes and needles, alcohol wipes, and condoms...
(Tire screech) Wayduhminute! They won't cover my ostomy supplies, but they will cover the cost of condoms, freakin' party balloons?!
That's not the weird part.
The crazy part is that they will cover the following under medical supplies:
Diabetic supplies, inhaler spacers, peak flow meters, syringes and needles, alcohol wipes, and condoms...
(Tire screech) Wayduhminute! They won't cover my ostomy supplies, but they will cover the cost of condoms, freakin' party balloons?!
(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2010 12:33 pmBZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
You'll hate me immediately for it.
You'll hate me immediately for it.
Moar Forwarding Email Funz
Apr. 19th, 2010 10:03 pm> THESE REALLY WORK! They have been checked this out on Snopes and it's for
> real!
>
> AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
>
> 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE
> TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
>
> 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
> USING THE SINK.
>
> 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR
> A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE
> A TIMER.
>
> 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
> ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
>
> 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
> BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
>
> 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
> MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
> DUCT TAPE.
>
> 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
>
> DAILY THOUGHT:
>
> SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT BRINGING
> A
> SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
>
> real!
>
> AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
>
> 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE
> TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
>
> 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
> USING THE SINK.
>
> 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR
> A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE
> A TIMER.
>
> 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
> ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
>
> 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
> BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
>
> 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
> MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
> DUCT TAPE.
>
> 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
>
> DAILY THOUGHT:
>
> SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT BRINGING
> A
> SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
>
I canz haz pharts again!
Mar. 26th, 2010 02:52 pmThanks to the demented sibling that is my youngest sister, a body function can now at least be imitated. You see, a stoma might be the "straight pipe" of having to go in my current condition, but doing so on my terms is something I miss; like doing my business before a shower.
Anyhow, being childishly scatological was one of the things that, for now, went bye-bye in the surgery. Not anymore! Now I have in my grubby hooves the means of amusing myself silly that not only looks like a huge snot ball, but is a very convincing way of artificial trepidation.
http://www.cyberclean.net/
The phart bit comes when trying to put the snot ball back into the storage cup. Take a couple of fingers to shove the goo into the cup... phhhhht!
Anyhow, being childishly scatological was one of the things that, for now, went bye-bye in the surgery. Not anymore! Now I have in my grubby hooves the means of amusing myself silly that not only looks like a huge snot ball, but is a very convincing way of artificial trepidation.
http://www.cyberclean.net/
The phart bit comes when trying to put the snot ball back into the storage cup. Take a couple of fingers to shove the goo into the cup... phhhhht!
Common Sense? Surly One Jests!
Feb. 24th, 2010 10:26 amRedesign the hotdog, pole-dancing in the 2012 games.
Now really, isn't the world goofy enough?
Now really, isn't the world goofy enough?
Dear Mother Nature:
Feb. 10th, 2010 02:15 pmIt is quite obvious that you are currently suffering from an acute bout of dandruff at this moment. People are rather upset that the flaking that is happening is interfering with their productive lives of getting shit done. Please for the love of *_insert what ever proper wording here_*, get some dandruff shampoo? Or at least bring the temperature up above freezing!
Regards,
Moi
Regards,
Moi
