![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Email Forwarded Dumb
Nov. 13th, 2009 10:25 pm> 1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could
> have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
> nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
> counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve,"
> was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order
> six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
>
> 2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
> the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
> one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register
> <http://www.lotsofjokes.com/stupid_people.asp> and placed it between
> our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of
> my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar
> code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do
> you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
> think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things
> and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
>
> 3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card
> <http://www.lotsofjokes.com/stupid_people.asp> into her floppy drive
> and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
> doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
> for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
>
> 4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
> you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
> replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into
> my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
> would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,
> too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it
> and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the
> door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
> batteries. It's a long walk."
>
> 5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
> she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
> typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine
> <http://www.lotsofjokes.com/stupid_people.asp> paper," the secretary
> told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
> paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
> copies.
>
> 6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
> towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
> repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
> I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
> set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
>
> 7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
> of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
> with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
> branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back
> of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
>
> 8. Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
> colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
> machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
> pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
> telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
> confessed.
>
> 9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
> take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine,
> the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
> him in to emergency.
> have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
> nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
> counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve,"
> was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order
> six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
>
> 2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
> the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
> one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register
> <http://www.lotsofjokes.com/stupid_people.asp> and placed it between
> our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of
> my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar
> code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do
> you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
> think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things
> and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
>
> 3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card
> <http://www.lotsofjokes.com/stupid_people.asp> into her floppy drive
> and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
> doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
> for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
>
> 4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
> you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
> replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into
> my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
> would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,
> too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it
> and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the
> door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
> batteries. It's a long walk."
>
> 5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
> she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
> typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine
> <http://www.lotsofjokes.com/stupid_people.asp> paper," the secretary
> told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
> paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
> copies.
>
> 6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
> towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
> repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
> I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
> set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
>
> 7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
> of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
> with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
> branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back
> of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
>
> 8. Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
> colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
> machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
> pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
> telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
> confessed.
>
> 9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
> take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine,
> the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
> him in to emergency.
